What We Feel is Not Always the Truth

One of the MOST crucial traits in a relationship is TRUST. Because to have any lasting connection requires the ability to be vulnerable which can only happen when trust is fully present in the relationship. But for many trust is a struggle. Often a direct result of having been hurt or disappointed by someone they cared for or looked up to in the past. And so, they become hyper-vigilant feeling as if the relationship may pose a threat. But what we feel, is not always the #truth Trust is a thought not a feeling and influenced by our beliefs. Yet it has become a common practice to “trust our feelings.” But if we come from hurt or disappointment the beliefs were operating from can be distorted or irrational. And if so, our thoughts are based on false assumptions. As well, the feelings tied to them are bound to be equally distorted and hardly to be trusted. So, how logical or how safe is it to conclude that if we feel something strongly we should believe it and allow it to control our behavior? We all want to trust in others. But if your lens is jaded a much healthier way to measure trust is through “Consistency.” It’s how children learn to trust adults. It’s how I’ve learned to trust and how my clients learn to trust in me. Look for Consistency and measure it over time so you can build healthier experiences of trust, lasting relationships, and a connection with those you truly want to be connected to. 

~Dr Mcayla Sarno