Overcoming Insecurities and Self Doubt


You may know that you're good enough and that you matter and that you're valuable and significant, but you may not feel like it all the time. But what if you could bring those two conflicting thoughts and feelings together? 

What if you could take that very insecure or doubtful part of yourself and introduce him or her to the part of you that has over the top "got it going on” mentality?

Memory and the past can play a big role in how you view yourself but I promise you won't need to go back to the past. What if we instead brought that insecure or doubtful part to the present?

Think about it. What keeps us stuck is information we take in from the past that the brain (at that time) doesn't have enough information to make sense of. But by this point in your life, you now have all the information you really need.

With that being said, what do you suppose that insecure part, who sees the present from the past, needs to know today to be reassured that today you are in control, that today you do have choices, and today you are strong and you have evidence of this on your list or you wouldn't be where you are today?

And you can do it because you have done it. That information just hasn't caught up yet. Now, we know through neuroscience and Nero linguistic methods that the brain speaks in code.

So to integrate these packages of conflicting information, you need to think of that insecure part as a little part of you and reminding yourself before you're about to face a Challenge that, “You don't need to worry about a thing because I've got this handled. You just relax because I'm in charge and I'm strong and I can make choices for us both and I can get us out of here if we need to leave and I can take it from here.”

Now all that’s coming from the adult part of you also known as the prefrontal cortex part of 
your brain and the person you are today, the person you are when you're at your best.

This is a technique that works by integrating information in the memory with the information in the present. We want to pull all that information from your subconscious mind into the conscious part of your mind where you are strongest and most
confident. So that you can experience that the past is over and you are able to protect yourself.

One of the biggest challenges in session is the client's resistance.Resistance is a fear that one is incapable of handling something. The insecure doubtful parts may not feel capable, but YOU.. are capable of handling anything.

It's like taking that very kid-like brain and instead of telling him or her, “Because I said so,” explain why it is so. Explain to that part because you are the one that has helped that insecure, doubtful part through every challenge, every heartache, every painful mistake.

You're the one who got them through it and you will continue to do the same. Bring that part to the present and out of the past each time that part presents him or herself. And if this seems silly remember you are dealing with bundles of information, however, those bundles capture thoughts, feelings, sensations, and you experience this each
time those feelings you have seem out of context.

Each time you say to yourself, “Why do I keep doing these things to sabotage myself?”
“Why do I feel so afraid to step out and why do I get so nervous?”

But that's “the part” of you from the past, from the memory, that you slip back into when your brain associates a present cue or trigger in your environment.

So, rather than going back to the past bring that part to the present and have a talk with him or her and perhaps add some humor to this. Make it light and fun and feel the change happen in your body.

What you feel is that past “part,” what you know to be true is the present part, the adult part of you and who you are today. When those feelings come up, have a talk with that kid. 

It is possible for you to learn this skill, to learn each of these steps. As a matter of fact, you're already learning because I've prompted you to think about the way your think.

As I have mentioned in my bio, I have worked many years in treating addictions. I spent several years actually working just inpatient eating disorders and what was really valuable to learn was the voice that a person with an eating disorder hears.

Now, of course, it’s their own dialogue in their head but it feels very much separate from the person. Often times they’ll call that voice ED short for eating disorder. And we knew that once the person was able to recognize that the voice was in fact (so to speak) separate from their own that they were inevitably on the right track to healing.

Now back in the day I knew this to be true but I didn’t know why until much later. You see, it was important for them to be able to recognize that voice was a “part” of them from the past.

And they were very much living in the memory. Until they recognized the voice as
separate from themselves they could not integrate them later.

I believe that persons very much suffering from eating disorders are simply highly dissociative and in the memory with both feet in the past. When we have that battle in our head we are just dealing with compartmentalized bundles of information that isn't integrated yet.

We are all living in the past: Our consciousness lags 80 milliseconds behind actual events. When you think an event occurs it has already happened. If you touch your toe and nose at the same time, you feel them at the same time, even though the signal from your nose reaches your brain first.

My mission is to help you wake up. I want you to wake up and experience how beautiful the here and now really is. There's nothing to fear moving forward and taking risks because you have already everything you need to get you through it and succeed.

You already have those things that you need because you couldn't have gotten through the things in your life if you didn't already have what it took and what it takes to do more of the same.

You've just been stuck in a bad dream. But once you wake up, your life will be the life you've always envisioned.

So the goal is to reconnect the thinking Center region of your brain with the emotion center so that the logic you hold can make better sense of those feelings you struggle with. It's connecting the right and the left side of your brain, thoughts, and emotions.

To learn more about how you can overcome ingrained thoughts and beliefs, visit www.insessiononline.com.


- Dr Mcayla